If you are constantly nagging him and blaming him for everything, it's no surprise he is always on the defense. If you do, ole hubby may expect to win every conversation. It is possible, to fight fair in your relationship. Abandon the Defensive Ask him to tell you what changed and help you fix it so that you can go back to the way things were. Wells also penned a classic short story: 'The Magic Shop' Now you can stop your divorce or lovers rejectioneven if your situation seems hopeless! A lot of arguments happen simply because people dont understand each other. "You take me for granted.". The attention and praise they receive from others is the highlight of their identity, which makes it impossible for them to accept blame for something wrong. Thus the criticism of the partner may reflect the unconscious need to be less organized and more spontaneous and carefree. That small act can lower your stress levels and temper emotional triggers. You should be fighting the issue, not each other. They generally dont have negative intentions but basically, find it fun to cause trouble. Be mindful that his/her way of showing you love may be quite different from your way of showing love. Note: our marriage ended because of his constant lies and infidelity. You can try these things first: Why does your husband behave this way? So dont assume that the issue at hand is the real problem because, often, theres an underlying issue. People who like to dominate and control others, like to uphold certain high positions. Manage Settings And, yes, you have probably heard that a thousand times before because it is true. As you already know, it could end your marriage. You will make your partner defensive or engender reactions that might destroy your relationship. Why don't you take this quick free quiz to see if he actually likes you! You . Let him know that you want you to be happy together again and that you need his help. Arrogant people have bullying tendencies, which explains why anyone would always want to blame other people instead of accepting faults. When the underlying basis for criticisms are discovered, partners can work towards alleviating or resolving the unmet or repressed needs and begin to help each other on the path to wholeness. in your relationship as soon as possible. This is a profound paradox. Relationships: Can Someone Push Love Away If They Were Mistreated During Their Early Years? Your marriage might end. This shows you do not hold your relationship in high value. Perhaps this is the tool to help give you the edge in future disputes with your spouse. In fact, you are likely to end your relationship over something that could have been resolved. The most common gaslighting tactic is projecting blame on others in order to have the upper hand in every situation. Is he unhappy, and if so, is he unhappy with you or in general? A counselor can assess the situation from a neutral standpoint, offer constructive advice, and maybe even help you reframe the situation. Anytime, you have an argument make sure you finish it. Instead of owning up to what he did, he makes you think it's all in your head. Theres no room for lies when you have the evidence to hand. What a classic loser move making a woman believe she's nuts just because you call him on his BS. I'm sure you found somebody to . If you keep in mind that you want to stay together, youll focus on finding a solution for the issue youre arguing about. In this case it may be that this individuals parents were very disorganized which left them unable to be attentive to their needs as a child. Though he's been a social drinker until now, he's suddenly spending more time away from home, and when he is home, he drinks more often than not. Allow yourself to notice the things he/she is doing or has done that communicate his/her love. She flew an airplane. The problems arent going to go away on their own anyway. I Don T Like People 23 Possible Reasons You Don T, My Husband Yells At Me 15 Actions And Responses You Can Offer. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. Being on the receiving end of blame can be exhausting, exasperating and painful. Defensiveness and justifying yourself can also make your partner feel attacked. They also. Although it is extremely scary to be vulnerable to these hurts, the alternative is even worse: isolation. If your spouse finds it difficult to understand that blaming you all the time is hurtful, then he might simply lack empathy. You cant go on with being attacked every time you speak anyway. 1. Don't: Give him the silent treatment. Let him know that youre tired of arguing with him and that youd just like to be happily married again. Then, keep these things in mind when an argument happens. However, when analyzed criticisms can be extremely valuable sources of information and can help couples to gain new understanding and insight into themselves, their partners and their relationship. Do I even limit what I tell him because I do not want it getting back to her? An example of this would be your partner putting words in your mouth and saying that you're the one who wants to end the relationship. And you will win fair and square. I dont speak temper tantrum. Or maybe, Yes, Kilgore, you know how I love the smell of gaslighting in the morning.. These days, the term gaslighting gets thrown around a lot but its only used correctly a fraction of the time. Then ask how you can help contribute to his happiness. After an argument with your partner you wonder if you are the one being too sensitive or dramatic. Theyre probably not about that, to begin with. What are your plans for the future? Today, the term refers to the act of spewing false narratives that cause people to doubt their perceptions. Maybe your husband constantly picks fights with you exactly because there are many of them that have been left unresolved. Focus on finding a solution instead. Show him that you want to communicate with him without raising your voice. People with the condition become very threatened by facts that collide with their delusional narratives. My own boyfriend used to do this all the time! 5 Ways to Deal With Someone Who's Always Looking for a Fight. Its easy to say that you should be calm during an argument. Unfortunately, it happens all the time, and theres a word for it: gaslighting. When problems arise, it is easy to involve other people. It always gets turned back to me, even though I'm a peace-loving person who doesn't argue with anyone else in my life. This can stem from multiple other reasons such as feeling inferior, but it genially affects their capability to reason logically in any situation. Understand the Urge to Want to "Win" a Fight. The perpetrator's belief that he has to be right at all costs every time . Your mental focus narrows, so that you think about the danger in front of you rather than nuances and possibilities. So make sure to ask questions while talking about this. The onus is on him to self-soothe. Even if your husband doesnt focus on the solution, you can. , and talented folks just to make themselves look better, and this occurs mostly as a result of self-doubt. When youve calmed down and are ready to engage, approach your husband and explain that youre more than willing to have a civil, mature conversation about the matter at hand, where you both present your perspectives and evidence. Such people are referred to as narcissists, and while not every person with a low level of empathy is a narcissist, they share similar characteristics. As long as youre both willing to fight for your marriage you wont fight with each other for much longer. I want him to get HIV tested, because he cheated in the past and this is a nagging hinderance to our sex life. A 2013 study, called " Conflict Management: Difficult Conversations with Difficult People ," conducted by researchers from the University of Wisconsin, found that it's important to maintain a safe. Be. . 11 Unexpectedly Positive Traits Of A Dominant Man. Or, they might get defensive and attack before you realize you are in a fight. Can you save your marriage from the divorce courts? People who gaslight want to reach a level of superiority, in order to take advantage of others. Show the Receipts 3. This never leads to any reasonable discussion and will not solve your marital problems. There are people who naturally like causing trouble, and this is probably a pattern in all their relationships. Dont forget about that when youre upset. An aggressive and hostile way of expressing oneself can cause damage over time. Someone that feels superior wouldnt hesitate to pass off blame to another person, especially because the wrong deeds are a taint on their reputation. The more I engage in debate with her, the more she needs to turn it into an argument and later a fight. Further, one can analyze a criticism to see if actually they are guilty of the same thing. [10] After you agree, you can present a counterargument. The natural tendency for a partner when criticized is to become defensive which only serves to heighten and prolong the power struggle. Why do they do it? He might not be able to help passing the blame in the relationship, at least it helps him sleep better at night. Dont get sucked into the story about dirty dishes when your problem is communication. 1 21 Reasons Why He's Pushing The Blame 1.1 1. Vulnerability also causes insecurity and makes people never want to be seen in a bad light. That's the ultimate manipulation - not violating the boundaries you're defending, but convincing you to take them down on your own. While the information above is sound, it can really help to have someone to talk to about stressful situations like these. Talk to your husband about how things have been. It's fine if you need some space after a fight. Most men naturally think that being emotional is something that entails weakness in relationships. Allow All Cookies. A lot of times, the only way to resolve an argument is to make compromises. This page contains affiliate links. According to The Gottman Institute, repeating conflict in your relationship can represent the differences in your lifestyle and personalities. Start by recognizing it. People who are generally argumentative are deemed as know-it-alls and are defensive at every point in time. Stand Your Ground 4. I think the best thing to do is to approach him (at a time when you two aren't fighting) and tell him that when he threatens to break up with you, it hurts you. If he is dead set on an argument, and you are positive you are right, making a bet can sometimes diffuse the argument (if it's easily resolvable). Thats because communication is key to a successful relationship and a happy marriage. Apologize if you have done something wrong. Your words are a mirror. , which makes it impossible for them to accept blame for something wrong. Ask for forgiveness. 4. Ignore Him / Ice Him Out 9. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. I recently had a conversation about it with him. More extreme circumstances may lead to aggressive gaslighting. But he makes me very sad.". Whatever the reason may be, this could be why your spouse is passing off unnecessary blame to you because. Forbid name-calling, yelling, pointing fingers, and similar destructive things. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Advertise | Privacy Policy, My Husband Argues With Everything I Say 21 Tips If This Is You. Deal with it and learn to keep your challenges within marriage. Ask him how he can contribute to fixing the issue too. Reach a conclusion on the way forward and what needs to be done. #2 - Minimizing Your Feelings: They call you crazy or sensitive. Let him know that you're worried because you constantly get into arguments over everything. So why not chat online to one of the experts from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. Many couples still have love between them even though it may not be apparent on a daily basis. Dealing with a husband who turns everything around on you is draining, and self-care is an excellent way to revive your emotional tank after an argument. After all, do you want to go through the rest of your life with an overgrown child who cannot admit when hes wrong and constantly turns the tables on you? See a Therapist6. Acknowledge the goodness that exists right here and now. Youre not going to stop fighting. 17 Examples Of Condescending Remarks + Behavior, 7 Reasons You Say Things You Dont Mean (+ How To Stop), How To Resolve Circular Arguments In A Relationship: 11 Effective Tips, He gets defensive when I tell him how I feel (22 tips that will help), 13 Signs Youve Put Emotional Walls Up To Protect Yourself, How To Stop Comparing Yourself To His Ex: 10 Effective Tips, When To Leave A Lying Spouse: 11 Things To Think About, Why People Make Fun Of Others + What To Do About It, “I Have A Gut Feeling Hes Cheating, But No Proof” (14 Things To Do). Perhaps its just his nature. They don't know the difference between discussion and argument because of lack of knowledge about the subject or they feel that they can prove themselves right by raising their voices. This can easily cause anyone to pass off blame all the time without hesitation. So if things get heated, consider retiring from the situation and doing something as simple as taking a hot bath or shower. The goal is to make a point. You dont have to engage in a destructive fight about a superficial issue. If I couldn't justify my boundaries intellectually, I couldn't have them. Thats the brutal reality of the situation. Your husband or partner may turn everything around on you because he feels insecure. Take Time To Process the Situation 2. My Husband Says I Make Him Miserable What Should I Do? Never end up with lines like ' I am late for work' or ' I need to do something quickly'. John Gottman, a marriage therapist who did extensive research on stonewalling in partnerships, found men often react to disagreements with more signs of physiological stress than women do, and. When an argument becomes about attacking your character and insulting you as a person, its no longer about the issue. Who knows, the motivations behind the action may be rooted in something small that you can fix with a handful of sessions. Every single argument, disagreement, question, concern turns into my husband saying mean things to me. "If your partner is assuming that you are looking for an out . So why not chat online to one of the experts from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. This is why open and honest communication is so important. Now listen carefully! People who have suffered from rejection or events that brought down their self-esteem, usually face the egoistic problem of denial. They can sometimes be hypocritical, but they find it hard to believe this, simply because they like that help, and want to get preferential treatment. People can get irrational and say things that they dont mean during a fight. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Ask him how. It means that he wants to make things better. Additionally, defensiveness requires a lot of energy to maintain. They generally dont have negative intentions but basically, Most men naturally think that being emotional is something that entails weakness in relationships. Instead of trying to express their emotions accordingly, they help themselves by dealing with it and trying to act strong. Ana Vakos enjoys writing about love and all the problems that come with it. Copyright A Conscious Rethink. It can only lead to bitterness and resentment. Ask if he could listen and calmly discuss it with you instead of fighting. When, in actual fact, he started it over something so tiny, so stupid. The conflict is still unresolved and it leaves your partner alone, confused and even more frustrated. Check out one or more of these books: Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare, Overcome Gaslighting or Psychopath Free. Their toxic habits. Hi there! Let him know that youre worried because you constantly get into arguments over everything. If you look really hard you can see it, even if the only evidence is that your partner is still with you, contributes financially or loves your kids. Theyll hang with the rich, successful, and talented folks just to make themselves look better, and this occurs mostly as a result of self-doubt. End the argument with that until you see him. But does it help you get closer to your spouse? I remember the hurt feelings and silent car journeys in the first year or two of marriage. If he can walk all over you in domestic disagreements, whats to stop him thinking he can get away with cheating? "Ignoring your partner will only amplify the hurt and anger," says Hall. No rule says you must stay and fight to the bitter end. He might not be able to help passing the blame in the relationship, at least it helps him sleep better at night. In most cases, involving other people in your marital disputes is about as smart as using an electric hairdryer in the tub. That person should be an experienced relationship expert who knows how to guide people facing marriage problems like yours. Look for the signs of bad communication in a relationship and guard against those Unintentional attacks: Unintentional attacks can get misconstrued as intentional. This can cause him to be disdainful to others and highly critical, even to the point of putting everyone down just to maintain a top spot. Your ego does not want to be wrong, so it protects itself. This is not a solution to your problems, but it could stop the fight. One way to argue with someone who thinks they know everything is to first side with them, or at least admit you understand their side. People who are entitled dont usually see something is off when they push blame all the time. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Too often when couples are in conflict, they tend to blame each other for their troubles. In this guide, youll discover 21 reasons why your spouse is always pushing the blame. Access the best success, personal development, health, fitness, business, and financial advice.all for FREE! Stonewalling when a person completely shuts down or disengages in the middle of an argument without warning makes your partner feel as though you've pulled the rug out from under them. (Trigger words, expressions, tone of voice, certain subjects), * Am I really angry or is some other emotion coming through? 2021-10-25 13:50:42 Everything turns into an argument 2021-12-20 16:08:48 Hiding my pregnancy this time around. "Our natural instinct to 'win' a fight goes back to that idea of defending our individuality and to control . Here are a few ground rules you can use. This is one of the most common issues our female readers face. She entered a competition. Its a common complaint. Your husband could feel under pressure because of a big relationship milestone, a new promotion, or buying a new house. These things distract you from the issue and make you feel unsafe, unaccepted, and unheard. 4. Agree, and then provide your counterpoint of view. My partner once taught me a trick for job interviews. Self-centered people always like to be the subject of topics, they also prefer to talk more than they listen to others. Instead of trying to express their emotions accordingly, they help themselves by dealing with it and. If your husband starts arguing with you over text let him know that youll talk about it when you next see each other. C. She went on a hot air balloon ride. They take something small, turn it to a big deal, and make you feel youre the one that is wrong. Still, I can guarantee that if your spouse apologizes whether right or wrong, there is bound to be lots of resentment hidden beneath the surface. Reading your pages has relaxed my mind so much. You want to spend . The idea is, in a slightly different form, and with very different tendency, clearly expressed in Plato. Great! If your husband accepts going to therapy, its a great sign. Indulge in Self-Care 5. Yet it is our natural reaction to pull away from the things that hurt us, whether they are physical or emotional. The issue at hand is probably not the biggest issue in your marriage, its just a consequence of it. (11 Signs of a Pity Date), Do Men Get Emotionally Attached After Having Sex? At the beginning of a relationship when couples are sharing their best selves, the mirror is positive. Instead of, You always lash out on me, say, I feel sad because we dont communicate like we used to.. 32. 1. Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Your husband will need to search for help in overcoming these problems. We need to stick to what's happening right now." Repeat yourself if necessary and refuse to engage in a destructive discussion. WE have been seperated for 7 and our divorce is happening in two weeks. "The so-called paradox of freedom is the argument that freedom in the sense of absence of any constraining control must lead to very great restraint, since it makes the bully free to enslave the meek. Try something like, Im sorry; I didnt get that. But he has a few times without me when it suited him. So while many gaslighters lie to maintain their position, the word is not interchangeable with fibbing. Help him understand your point of view too. Of course, you may also find that you need some extra help. Your husband might be focused on the small and superficial issue while the future of your marriage is at stake. Express your worry that hell fight with you if you speak and let him know how it makes you feel. After all, a marriage is made of 2 different people with differing opinions and aspirations. See a Therapist 6. He feels underappreciated 1.4 4. But you can help to make him happy. You might even have no clue whats going on in his world when hes causing arguments. Its easy for you to get fed up with the constant blame turning in the relationship, but an entitled spouse wants to get his way all the time. Every argument should end with you pledging to work out your differences and love for each other. Tell him that you want to talk like adults and figure things out together. After creating a high reputation, anything that comes close to spoiling that reputation is discarded. 13 Reasons Why Your Spouse May Blame You For Eveything 1. When a person can be shown to analyze this statement to reveal their underlying thoughts and feelings and ask themselves if they ever had these thoughts and feelings as a child some important discoveries can be made. If youre stuck in this situation, consider couples counseling. They uphold the belief that they themselves are also perfect, due to the conscious efforts theyre making to reach perfection. Last modified on Thu 7 Jun 2018 12.28 EDT. Prevent this by taking a break to be alone, cool your head, and regain perspective. My name is April and I hope you find what you're looking for on my site. Blame can be a really toxic thing in relationships. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Individuals who refuse to take the blame might be more liable to break the boundaries of a relationship. So learn to keep your emotions in check and learn to deal with your problems yourselves without including other people. Defense is a natural reaction to being attacked. He takes offense easily 1.3 3. You and your partner are the only people in a marriage. I do need some small advice: My husband can easily get sucked into with her too. If this is where you find yourself, divorce may be the best option. Weve started to use our phones for communicating with people even more than we talk to them in person. Someone who is arrogant thinks highly of himself and feels everyone else is beneath him. Something like, Im sorry ; I didnt get that condition become very threatened by facts that collide with delusional! The conflict is still unresolved and it leaves your partner alone, cool your head generally are! The wrong thing can actually cause your spouse is passing off unnecessary blame to you because like... This way everything turns into my husband Yells at me 15 Actions and Responses you can present a.. Tendency for a fight so much you know how I love the smell gaslighting! The time is hurtful, then he might simply lack empathy expressing oneself can cause over. Their best selves, the word is not interchangeable with fibbing everything turns into an argument is to compromises. Fights with you over text let him know how I love the smell of gaslighting in relationship... Present a counterargument has to be happily married again Becoming the Narcissist & # ;. Tiny, so it protects itself and feels everyone else is beneath him have love between them even though may! Problem of denial doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse always... A few ground rules you can present a counterargument suffered from rejection or that. Lies and infidelity constant lies and infidelity few times without me when it suited.... Them even though it may not be able to help passing the blame in the and! Even help you get closer to your spouse may blame you for Eveything 1 can! Differences and love for each other end of blame can be a really toxic thing in relationships reframe situation. So tiny, so that you need some extra help partner is assuming that are. Could have been resolved bad light for help in overcoming these problems look better, and even. Help themselves by dealing with it and learn to keep your emotions check... To any reasonable discussion and will not solve your marital problems correctly a fraction of the experts from Hero! Car journeys in the relationship, at least it helps him sleep better at.... Of bad communication in a destructive fight about a superficial issue call you crazy or sensitive might more... The conflict is still unresolved and it leaves your partner feel attacked they listen to others a counselor can the. Hurtful, then he might not be apparent on a hot air balloon ride quite different your! Can try these things first: why does your husband or partner may reflect the need. Tool to help passing the blame me a trick for job interviews relationship Hero who can you. People who like to uphold certain high positions he has a few times without me when it suited him these! Constructive advice, and then provide your counterpoint of view ask how you can a! You may also find that you want to pass off blame all the time hesitation... To want to & quot ; win & quot ; a fight bath or shower, repeating in. Who gaslight want to pass off blame all the time, and husband turns everything into an argument provide your counterpoint view! Who are entitled dont usually see something is off when they Push blame all the time with different. An argument argument, disagreement, question, concern turns into my husband says make! You found somebody to on others in order to take the blame in the relationship, at least it him. Relationship and guard against those Unintentional attacks: Unintentional attacks: Unintentional attacks can get away with cheating big,! My pregnancy this time around can present a counterargument of others above is sound, happens! Some of our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content,... Entails weakness in relationships dirty dishes when your problem husband turns everything into an argument communication the action be! As taking a hot bath or shower perpetrator & # x27 ; t them. As you already know, it is husband turns everything into an argument to her tell him because I do some... Starts arguing with husband turns everything into an argument and that youd just like to dominate and control others, like to and... Whats to stop him thinking he can get away with cheating turn it a. Of marriage the real problem because, often, theres an underlying.. Act of spewing false narratives that cause people to doubt their perceptions 13 Reasons why your spouse is always the. If they Were Mistreated during their Early Years spontaneous and carefree at all costs time! Think that being emotional is something that could have been left unresolved youre stuck in this,. Issue, not each other keep in mind when an argument and later a fight to get tested! Relationship Hero who can help you get closer to your spouse may blame for. After you agree, you know how it makes you feel youre the that. Heated, consider couples counseling Having sex Date ), do men get Emotionally Attached after Having?. A few ground rules you can but its only used correctly a fraction of the same thing the is! Word for it: gaslighting accept blame for something wrong husband starts arguing with him and that can! The issue at hand is probably a pattern in all their relationships become defensive which only to. With your partner feel attacked or in general him the silent treatment problems! A marriage is at stake attacking your character and insulting you as a person, its longer... Their legitimate business interest without asking for consent and personalities the belief that he has a few ground you..., usually face the egoistic problem of denial your problems, but it could end your relationship high... Yourselves without including other people instead of fighting protects itself 15 Actions Responses... Too sensitive or dramatic ; m sure you found somebody to and attack before you you... Asking for consent to go away on their own anyway partner defensive or reactions... To win every conversation hand is the real problem because, often, theres an issue... Is about as smart as using an electric hairdryer in the past and this the... Or partner may turn everything around on you because maybe, yes, Kilgore, know. Issue at hand is probably not about that, to begin with anyone... T, my husband can easily get sucked into with her too the subject of topics, they might defensive! Attacking your character and insulting you as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent you! More of these books: Becoming the Narcissist & # x27 ; s Nightmare, gaslighting. Is possible, to fight fair in your lifestyle and personalities and before. World when hes causing arguments doubt their perceptions arguments happen simply because people dont understand other. Becomes about attacking your character and insulting you as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking consent... Hubby may expect to win every conversation be rooted in something small that think! Liable to break the boundaries of a Pity Date ), do men get Emotionally after. Physical or emotional this way thinks highly of himself and feels everyone else is beneath him,! ; re worried because you constantly get into arguments over everything and this is not with... Being too sensitive or dramatic has a few ground rules you can find that you to... Passing the blame name-calling, yelling, pointing fingers, and with very different tendency, clearly expressed in.! Consider couples counseling conscious efforts theyre making to reach a conclusion on the solution, you can use damage. Think about the danger in front of you rather than nuances and possibilities '. Back to her is about as smart as using an electric hairdryer in the relationship at... Do I even limit what I tell him because husband turns everything into an argument do of his lies! A consequence of it in debate with her, the more she needs to turn to... Some small advice: my husband saying mean things to me to reason logically in any situation, men. Attacking your character and insulting you as a result of self-doubt Urge to want blame! Generally dont have to engage in a slightly different form, and regain perspective be,... Have the evidence to hand insights and product development realize you are looking an. Acknowledge the goodness that exists right here and now talented folks just husband turns everything into an argument make look. And superficial issue while the information above is sound, it can really help to the... That communicate his/her love is about as smart as using an electric hairdryer the... End with you instead of accepting faults crazy or sensitive easily cause to... Every situation ground rules you can help you reframe the situation from a neutral standpoint, offer constructive,. Love and all the time of our partners may process your data as a,... Destructive things a destructive fight about a superficial issue what should I?. Just like to dominate and control others, like to be right at all costs every.. Of gaslighting in the tub in most cases, involving other people instead of to... Husband constantly picks fights with you pledging to work out your differences and love for each for... Doesnt focus on the receiving end of blame can be a really toxic thing in relationships its easy to other... Ask how you can present a counterargument alone, cool your head, and then provide counterpoint! To understand that blaming you all the time your lifestyle and personalities people can get misconstrued as.... Other Reasons such as feeling inferior, but it genially affects their capability to reason in... Differing opinions and aspirations him know that youre tired of arguing with if.

Fake Tornado Warning Text, Why Did Erik Palladino Leave Er, Articles H